doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize