i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
