I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
In America we eat man semen.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
