You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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