And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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