idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
