Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize