i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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