K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
