It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
