I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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