My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
