I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
