Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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