also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
