I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize