OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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