Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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