You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
