Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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