my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
