i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
