I hate your face
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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