Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
