okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
