So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize