Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
