I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
