I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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