piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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