omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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