I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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