ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize