Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
