real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
