He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
