no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
