I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
