cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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