Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
