Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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