similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
