"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
