On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
