Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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