i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
