Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The beer is more important than you right now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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