i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
