i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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