thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
