Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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