We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
