Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
third nipple confirmed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
