ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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