pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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