I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
