So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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