redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
