on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just invented taco cereal.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
