once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
