I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
