somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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