just come out here and I will go home with you...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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