i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
