I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
