I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize