Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize