so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize