i just had sex bonerless
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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