I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
