Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
